I read with interest the numerous other articles, books, and blog posts about the "me, me, me generation" (as Joel Stein calls us), our rejection of chivalry, and our hookup culture — which is supposedly the downfall of college dating. I didn't walk away from my conversation with Nate expecting a bouquet of roses to follow. Nate never wrote or called me that night, even after I texted him at 11 p.m. As to why you got weird." But Nate didn't acknowledge his weirdness. But I didn't have the energy to tell Nate that I was sick of his (and many other guys') assumption that women spend their days plotting to pin down a man and that ignoring me wasn't the kindest way to tell me he didn't want to lead me on. I am sitting in my dorm, having just applied Sally Hansen leopard-print press-on nails and wearing a chiffon dress from Forever 21 that my sister told me "looks really expensive." I am waiting to hear from a nerdy but cute guy I'll call Nate*, whom I know from class. " that millennials are "a generation confused about how to land a boyfriend or girlfriend."Williams is not the only one thinking about millennials and our potentially hopeless futures for finding love.The fact that women now invest in their ambitions rather than spend college looking for a husband (the old MRS degree) is a good thing.But Rosin doesn't acknowledge that there is still sexism lurking beneath her assertion that women are now able to "keep pace with the boys." Is the fact that some college women are now approaching casual sex with a stereotypically masculine attitude a sign of progress?In theory, hookup culture empowers millennial women with the time and space to focus on our ambitious goals while still giving us the benefit of sexual experience, right? As Maddie, my 22-year-old friend from Harvard (who, FYI, graduated with highest honors and is now at Yale Law School), puts it: "The 'I don't have time for dating' argument is bullshit.As someone who has done both the dating and the casual-sex thing, hookups are much more draining of my emotional faculties..actually, my time."Sure, many women enjoy casual sex — and that's a valuable thing to point out given how old-fashioned society's attitudes on romance can still be.Overdressed for the nonoccasion, I quelled my frustration with Trader Joe's maple clusters and reruns of The next morning, I texted Nate again — this time to acknowledge our failed plan: "Bummer about last night. The avoidance — and occasional tight-lipped smiles — continued through the fall semester. He was drunk and apologized for hurting my feelings that night in the fall. The culture of campus dating is broken..at least broken-ish. College kids do it, have always done it, and will always do it, whether they're in relationships or not.
But I'm still not comfortable with Rosin's assertion that "feminist progress...depends on the existence of hookup culture."The career-focused and hyper-confident types of women upon whom Rosin focuses her argument reappeared in Kate Taylor's July 2013 feature "She Can Play That Game Too." In Taylor's story, female students at Penn speak proudly about the "cost-benefit" analyses and "low-investment costs" of hooking up as compared to being in committed relationships.
At Harvard, these are the eight all-male social groups called final clubs.